Expressing gratitude for happiness and for FIRE (financial independence retire early)
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| Expressing gratitude for happiness and for FIRE! |
Charles Dickens: “Reflect upon your present blessings, for which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
My wife and I are early retirees since ages 51 and 48. We’ve decided to retire to travel, spend time with our family, and to be free from stressful jobs. We reached financial independence around August of 2020 thanks to the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement. By spending less and saving for the future, we jumped off the rat race!
In this post, I’d like to share my thoughts on the importance of expressing gratitude for happiness and for financial independence.
Growing up poor, I didn’t think I needed to be thankful for anything. In my opinion, expressing gratitude is only possible when your basic needs are satisfied. These needs are shelter, food, love, and security.
My family was kicked out of our apartment rental when I was 12 years old. The eviction came due to unpaid rents for several months. My dad had been traveling abroad for months during that time, so no one paid the bills...That day, I gathered my friends so we can hang out at my home. When we got there, my mom was hysterical and sobbing. There were bunch of men taking out our belongings, and loading them onto a large truck.
I asked one of them what this was about, and they explained the eviction process. Apparently, we had missed the letter notifying us of the eviction month after month. In hindsight, my brother and I should have been paying attention...
Long story short, we got kicked out on that Friday, a week prior to summer recess. I told my friends to all go home. They witnessed the whole thing and they understood. One of them offered us a place to stay for few days. We declined as we had an uncle who lived in Brooklyn, about 13 miles away.
What little things we had with us, we took them to our uncle’s place. The train ride to Brooklyn was just a blur. None of us talked because we were all shell shocked. We couldn’t even get our underwear, toothbrush, and clothes from the apartment...
I lamented why life was so difficult. While my friends were talking about how to spend their summer vacation, I had to think about how we were going to live and survive. I had neither shelter nor security that summer. I guess that experience molded me into who I was until I met my future wife in college.
In that summer, I had to work 6 days a week to bring in money. I worked at a small deli in Brooklyn, and I did all kinds of work, from stocking sodas/drinks, picking up daily breads from the bakery about 6 blocks away, to cleaning. It was hard work for a 12 year old.
I thought, ‘Why am I here?’ Shouldn’t I just be having fun and do things that most 12 year olds do? I lamented my lot in life. I felt angry. I learned what it was like to earn a living at a very early age. It was not fun...My boss was a very impatient man. He would berate me for not knowing certain things or not following instructions. I got a first taste of being an adult that summer...
For the next 8 years or so, I was an angry, rebellious, and a brooding young man. I thought the world owed me for all the ‘wrongs’ it had done to me. I expected the world to treat me right. I got angrier when the world didn’t listen to me. This unhealthy outlook on life carried over until I met my future wife.
My wife to-be was the one who taught me I should break these habitual cycles of hating the world and expecting the world to give things for free. I realized I had been wrong...It just took someone who wasn’t twisted like me, to show me the way.
When we got married, she added little changes like expressing gratitude and being thankful for things. It was showing gratitude towards our parents for raising us, and showing gratitude for all the things we had at the time (our own apartment, food, security, and love).
I owe my gratitude to my wife for this positive change.
Why is showing gratitude so significant?
Once the basic needs are satisfied, the act of expressing gratitude goes a long way to making you feel better. Instead of anger, and the feeling the world owes you something, showing gratitude will make you a person who appreciates what he/she has. It’s the classic ‘glass half full’ outlook vs ‘glass half empty’ outlook. Guess which person is happier?
There are always someone out there who has it tougher than you. Accept this fact and it becomes easier to do this.
Be grateful you have flushing toilet, food on the table, shelter, and running water. I had at times, a combination of these needs missing from my life...
Appreciate the fact that you’re living in the United States where some things like running water, relatively cheap food prices, and clean air, are all a given in most parts of the country. This is certainly not true in other parts of the world, where getting water is a daily survival of walking miles to get to a drinking well...
It wasn’t until I changed my attitude that things started to change. It was all me and not the world. Once I stopped being angry and expecting the world to hand me things, that things started to look up. I learned to work hard without excuses, and to take baby steps to appreciate and be thankful for many things.
Once my attitude changed, my life started to get better and better. I didn’t wait for things to happen, but rather, I made things happen. No one owed me anything, so I went out and grabbed life by the horns. This change would coincide with the purchase of our first apartment, and to start to plan for the future. It led to more positive moves, including saving up for retirement which would eventually lead us to a path to financial independence...
It took years for me to change to a better version of myself. I believe anyone can change if they want to.
Here are some things we regularly do to express gratitude:
- We thank each other for doing chores like doing the dishes, cooking, preparing meals, etc.
- We sit down and each come up with three things we’re thankful for. This exercise will make you appreciate your life right now.
- When I’m taking afternoon naps, I regularly say, “Every day should be like today!” because I’m totally enjoying that moment.
- Every night, we say to each other, “6:40?” ***6:40 am used to be our wake up time in the morning when we worked. We say this to remind ourselves of this and to appreciate the fact that we no longer have to get up at 6:40 am.
- Each time we’re visiting a beautiful beach or a park on a weekday, we show our gratitude.
- When we go grocery shopping on a weekday, we show our gratitude that we no longer need to shop on weekends when it’s really busy
- We’re grateful we can spend quality time with family since retirement
- We appreciate the fact that we can spend time with our Pomeranian these days
Please check out our YouTube channel ‘Wandering Money Pig’ showcasing our travels and our Pomeranian dog! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3kl9f4W9sfNG5h1l-x6nHw
