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| Port Jefferson, Long Island, NY |
Colin Powell: “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
Looking back at my life (all of 49 years or so), I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve always tried to find something good out of most situations so I can better cope with a tough situation. With few exceptions, this has kept me going through the thick and thin.
How many times have you faced adversity or tough situations in life and you had to deal with it in your own way?
Well, if you’re human, then you would’ve done this hundreds of times (and continue to do so every single day)…
The ability to see a positive in any situation is something we can all get better at. I believe it’s a learned skill and not an innate skill. We can train ourselves to get better at this with practice and more practice.
At age 17, I was lucky enough to be gifted with my first car. It was a sports car that I had been eyeing for years during my early teens.
You can imagine how excited I was at getting my first car! I drove everywhere and I had the time of my life. I would drive my buddies to the beach (on a school day no less, playing hooky), and I would drive down to Atlantic City, just because…
Life was good until I had my first car accident. I’ll call it a collision and not an accident because I know it was mostly my fault. I drove through a mall parking lot at high speed with loud music blaring, and I was T-boned by another car.
When the initial shock faded, I was left resigned to the fact that I had to figure out a way to fix this situation.
Long story short, the car was eventually fixed. While the car was being fixed, despite all the negatives that came with this situation, I somehow came away feeling relieved that I got my first accident out of the way. I somehow knew that I would be a better/safer driver…
There were too many negatives to mention in this bad situation:
- Car insurance premiums went up, which my parents were paying at the time…
- Car repairs were in the thousands
- I made my parents worry sick the day of the accident
- I felt really bad for causing all of these things…
Despite all these negatives, I actually felt my car looked better(!) because now my car had tinted windows(!) and brand new set of tires/rims. Silly, I know…I made myself feel better about this situation by telling myself that my car looked better after the accident…
Note: Back in my teenage years, every dime I had went into sprucing up my car. I bought a front cover, various accessories, air fresheners, fuzzy dice, etc. to make my car look good…
In some twisted and convoluted way, I magically found a positive out of a mostly negative situation.
One thing is for sure:
I did this to just about every tough situation that I encountered. Whether it’s the car accident, living in a rough neighborhood in Jamaica (Queens), or attending a college I didn’t really want to my first year in college, I found something good out of each of these situations.
Living in a rough neighborhood in Jamaica, I saw that we at least had a place of our own. Prior to this apartment, we had been living with our uncle in his one room apartment in Brooklyn.
In the case of not liking the college I was attending the first year, I at least realized I can keep up my grades so I can transfer out to the school I did want to go the following year. That’s exactly what ended up happening…
Life is full of tough situations. The sooner we understand and accept that life is full of these, the quicker we can deal with them as best we can.
Here are my thoughts on how to deal with life’s many curveballs:
- Assess a tough situation and accept it as such. The quicker you accept a situation happened as it did, the quicker you can deal with it.
Life will throw curveballs all the time. Whether it’s a job loss, inability to pay your rent, or breaking up with someone, life is just full of nasty surprises.
Accept it happened so you can move on from it. Practice attempting to see at least one good thing to come out of this situation.
For example, if you lose your job, take a moment to mourn/grieve your situation. Afterwards, accept this reality. Take steps to see the good in this situation.
When I was fired from my car salesperson job in 2007, I took this as an opportunity to go back to the IT (information technology) field. This move turned out to be the best move I could’ve made, as it led me to my last job which allowed me to retire early.
The more you start practicing to see at least one good thing out of a tough situation, the better you’ll be at dealing with future tough situations.
- When considering early retirement and financial independence, one must constantly try to see the silver lining when dealing with the feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out), YOLO (you only live once), or feeling left out/deprived
When you’re just starting to budget, life will be hard. The little things you didn’t think too much about, like buying a cup of Starbucks coffee, buying a knickknack (because they’re soooo cute), or attending an expensive concert, will add up each month, then most likely bust your budget.
You’ll feel deprived and left out in the beginning. However, if you see how cutting out these frivolous spending can help you reach your ultimate goal of retiring early, then you’ve really done well for yourself!
It’s finding the ability to see the good when feeling left out/deprived, that’ll help you to ultimately reach your goal of not having to get up on a Monday morning to go to work.
I talk often about delayed gratification because this is what makes early retirement and financial independence possible. Visualize yourself cutting years off your retirement by NOT buying that expensive front row seat at a concert, or drinking that daily coffee/snacks from Starbucks.
Every little decision to NOT buy equals more money towards your retirement! This equals earlier retirement! Keep this in mind.
- Practice seeing the good in any bad situation
We only get better at something with practice, perseverance, patience, and hard work. The more we try to see the good in a bad situation, the faster we can get out of that rut, then start to see real change.
Don’t be that person who’s always blaming others for their problems. Take charge, own the problem, accept the problem, then try to see how this situation actually helps you in one way or another.
There cannot be forward progress until you accept something as it is, then make something good out of that…
It’s too easy to take the path of least resistance to just say life sucks and blame everything and everyone. To see a change, you must change yourself first!
Remember, life is what YOU make of it, and not what others make of it. Take ownership, take responsibility, think positively, then forge ahead with a solution.
In conclusion:
The ability to see something good out of something bad is a skill we must all learn. Once learned, it becomes a powerful tool in dealing with life’s many challenges.
Instead of blaming your bad luck on someone or something, take charge and own it. Practice seeing how this bad piece of luck can actually help you in the future.
No change is possible without you changing yourself!
Thank you all for reading!
Jake
Wandering Money Pig
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