One of the top reasons for divorce? Money
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| Money is one of the top reasons for divorce in America |
Egyptian proverb: “If you marry a monkey for his wealth, the money goes, but the monkey remains as is.”
Money matters is usually listed as a top 10 reason for divorce in America. Why is handling money so difficult? Isn’t love enough to overcome a trivial thing like money?
Well, not exactly…
The older we get, the more difficult life gets. We simply have way too many financial obligations and responsibilities. We have student loans, credit card bills, mortgages, rents, personal loans, car payments, and the list goes on and on and on…
I think most of us really don’t worry about money matters prior to college. Most of us will probably open a credit card for the first time while in college. I know none of my friends (nor I) had credit cards in high school, but that changed in college…
The opening of a credit card is the beginning (for most of us) of our credit history. Now, just because we have a credit card doesn’t mean we know how to properly use one!
Average credit card debt in America is around $6,300 per family, according to the most recent data (2019) from the Federal Reserve’s Survey of Consumer Finances.
Credit cards are useful when booking flights, hotels, or making online purchases, AS LONG AS you pay off the entire amount every month, on time.
Dangers of credit cards are well documented. Because it doesn’t feel like actual money, you can spend like there’s no tomorrow, if you’re not careful. You don’t want to get into bad habits by paying for things you can’t afford.
Student loans are the next big thing for most of us. Student loans are an investment only if it leads to a career. Not all of us are so lucky though.
The author (me) graduated with a non-marketable degree (music) that didn’t lead to a career. Luckily, the tuition at a City University of New York was only around $3,000 or so per semester when I attended college in the early 90’s. *Note: No longer the case these days…
The average student loan debt per student who graduates with a bachelor’s degree is around $29,000 as of year 2019, according to data from The Institute of College Access & Success.
By the time someone gets married, average person may have around $30,000 in debt! This is before even considering getting a mortgage. No wonder married couples are stressed out and fighting over money!!!
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years. We started out, like most people, without understanding money matters, and we know how tough life can be without this knowledge…
Like most couples, we just knew how to spend money. Budgeting was not something we even knew existed!
Boy, how far we have come…
If we can tell our younger selves we would recommend the following things:
- Speak to each other about what your money situation is, before marriage
Because all of us are products of our environments, all of us have a unique belief system regarding money matters. Find out early on who the spender vs who the saver is. Find out how each other’s parents impacted that belief system.
Usually, parents’ handling of money will positively or negatively impact the child’s view of money later on. If parents always budgeted, kids will learn this good habit. If parents always fought about money, it won’t set a good example later on…
The more you understand each other, the easier you can prepare and plan together.
- Learn about money matters together as soon as you possibly can
Note: We have many of these topics for those starting out on their finance journey on this blog. Simply search for ‘importance of…’
Read well known websites (Fortune, Wall Street Journal, Kiplinger’s, etc), listen to podcasts, read money bloggers, and so on, but do it together.
The willingness and enthusiasm to learn about money will go a long way towards getting better at handling money!
- Budget together each month
- Plan how you’re going to prepare for your financial future
- Embrace living with less, buy what you need (not want), and stop trying to ‘Keep up with the Joneses.’
The less you spend, the more money you’ll have to invest for the future. Retiring early is as simple as that.
In conclusion:
Money matters has and always will be one of the top reasons for divorce in America. The earlier you can tackle this topic head-on, the easier it’ll be to prepare/plan your financial journey together.
Always learn about finance, always plan, and always commit to your financial future, but do it together!
It’s better to have both of you as stakeholders in your future rather than just one of you…
Thank you all for reading!
Jake
Wandering Money Pig
Please check out our YouTube channel ‘Wandering Money Pig’ showcasing our travels and our Pomeranian dog! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3kl9f4W9sfNG5h1l-x6nH
